Sometimes eureka moments are big earth shattering moments of clarity and sudden understanding. That's when you feel a rush of excitement and thrill at what you've just discerned and cannot wait to share it with the world.
At other times they are subtle moments of revelations that sneak up on you and even before you grasp what they mean, the thread of the idea disappears in the dense cloud of your thoughts. These are the ones that make you follow that thought, make you desperately try to hold onto the last vestige of that revelation so you can understand what it means entirely. The revelation lies in front you...just within your reach like a carrot (cake) that's been dangled in front of your eyes to tease you. Oh the niggling feeling that you're just not quite seeing it gnaws at the edge of your consciousness. It's like knowing the lyrics of the song you so desperately want to sing but your mind chooses to elude you at the opportune moment when you desire it so much! See how the mind plays games with itself all the time? ;-)
I had one of those recently. And when it showed itself it was a warm glow of a thought; a soft and pleasant surprise. There wasn't an earth shattering moment, just a gentle internal nudge that acknowledged that change.
You dream of being self assured and confident in yourself and your abilities. You dream of having unwavering conviction in yourself when facing the world both in the harsh stare of challenging eyes and the tender gaze of an accepting pair. There is always a wonder whether the strong face you hold up for the world to see hides a shaken and scared spirit or whether it encloses a truly brave and self assured one...
We face trials and tribulations everyday and they serve to make us stronger but their memory always reminds us of a weaker spirit at the time. It's a beautiful moment, when the world comes crashing down at your feet and murphy rejoices for all his plans seem fool proof but you smile not just externally but internally. It's a beautiful moment when you feel undaunted and completely in control of your fate and destiny...when not a vestige of doubt preys upon you. When you smile at the world and seem brave...you truly are sure that all is well and you can still hear the birds chirping and feel the sun shining.
It's a small step but somewhere I feel like having lived up (even if momentarily) to the sonnets of the poets of the past. The good was good and the bad was bad but they are all seasons and I am constant.
What it made me realise is I am all of these values and feelings. We like to think we are intelligent, we like to be known for our achievements, we like to be remembered for contributions and we end up believing that all of this makes up who we are. We think our jobs, our research papers, our professional acclaim, our recognition as being kind friends and family members is what makes us. But truly when stripped of all external circumstances and people its what we feel inside and how we think within our naked soul that makes us who we are. That is our constant. Our inner honesty, our inner peace, our inner integrity, our inner faith whatever these might be truly define us. These are our brand and we carry them with us in everything we do and wherever we go.
I guess it's worth waiting for the slow eureka moments to reveal themselves...
At other times they are subtle moments of revelations that sneak up on you and even before you grasp what they mean, the thread of the idea disappears in the dense cloud of your thoughts. These are the ones that make you follow that thought, make you desperately try to hold onto the last vestige of that revelation so you can understand what it means entirely. The revelation lies in front you...just within your reach like a carrot (cake) that's been dangled in front of your eyes to tease you. Oh the niggling feeling that you're just not quite seeing it gnaws at the edge of your consciousness. It's like knowing the lyrics of the song you so desperately want to sing but your mind chooses to elude you at the opportune moment when you desire it so much! See how the mind plays games with itself all the time? ;-)
I had one of those recently. And when it showed itself it was a warm glow of a thought; a soft and pleasant surprise. There wasn't an earth shattering moment, just a gentle internal nudge that acknowledged that change.
You dream of being self assured and confident in yourself and your abilities. You dream of having unwavering conviction in yourself when facing the world both in the harsh stare of challenging eyes and the tender gaze of an accepting pair. There is always a wonder whether the strong face you hold up for the world to see hides a shaken and scared spirit or whether it encloses a truly brave and self assured one...
We face trials and tribulations everyday and they serve to make us stronger but their memory always reminds us of a weaker spirit at the time. It's a beautiful moment, when the world comes crashing down at your feet and murphy rejoices for all his plans seem fool proof but you smile not just externally but internally. It's a beautiful moment when you feel undaunted and completely in control of your fate and destiny...when not a vestige of doubt preys upon you. When you smile at the world and seem brave...you truly are sure that all is well and you can still hear the birds chirping and feel the sun shining.
It's a small step but somewhere I feel like having lived up (even if momentarily) to the sonnets of the poets of the past. The good was good and the bad was bad but they are all seasons and I am constant.
What it made me realise is I am all of these values and feelings. We like to think we are intelligent, we like to be known for our achievements, we like to be remembered for contributions and we end up believing that all of this makes up who we are. We think our jobs, our research papers, our professional acclaim, our recognition as being kind friends and family members is what makes us. But truly when stripped of all external circumstances and people its what we feel inside and how we think within our naked soul that makes us who we are. That is our constant. Our inner honesty, our inner peace, our inner integrity, our inner faith whatever these might be truly define us. These are our brand and we carry them with us in everything we do and wherever we go.
I guess it's worth waiting for the slow eureka moments to reveal themselves...
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ReplyDeleteOh this is so beautifully put into words. I love the line 'The good was good and the bad was bad but they are all seasons and I am constant.' A lot of our external circumstances are also a reflection of the inner soul and our deepest thoughts. Happy discovering!! It's never ending and that's what makes life so much fun ;)
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