The beginning of things...

Once upon a time the world had no context. Nothing was necessarily how it was meant to be. Everything was different, lopsided, random. What I mean to say is that there were no rules to be followed. God hadn't yet decided to create the world and so the bible did not exist. Nobody had simply 'let there be light' and 'let there be man'. And so it all existed in a crazy haphazard fashion.

The sun did not necessarily have nine planets and not all the planets revolved around the sun. In fact the sun revolved around the moon and the planets all swung from the moon through very very long and opaque celestial cables. These planets swung randomly from their pendulums tilting the moon this way and that. This created random days and nights for the planets as the shadow of the moon decided when it would be day and when it would be night. Sometimes it was day for weeks and sometimes it shifted from day to night every hour. These were confusing times.

Every now and then, the planets would bang against each other and people or species from the respective planets could get off and roam on the other planet. Such transfers happened often but they were unpredictable and not a soul had a clue as to when they would happen, who would come into their world and what the consequences would be. This was in the early days...before they realised they could use these collisions for trade or theft.

During the collisions strange species from two planets now called Mars and Venus came to planet earth (then called Peacetikette). In those days, before God appeared, Mars was called Moronikette and Venus was called Lunatikette and there were plenty of kette's (planets) in between swinging this way and that.  

The species were very different from what we see today. They came in all colours, shapes and size. Their skin could be velvet or pink or one of the lost colours from those times and their hair could be just like ours today or different, very different. It could be a mass of balls, it could be a bunch of tubes or it could be mound of hanging spiders. There was a lot of variety and there was nary a dull moment like there are today. 

They were different those times before everything began.

I had the whole world in my hands...

There’s something incredible about being small, frail and feeling like you can conquer the world! It’s a brilliant feeling...it fills you up with joy to the brim of your soul till you can hardly breathe and all of that joy comes forcefully out in a loud exhilarated laugh!

I had this feeling the first time I rode the bike without the side wheels on. I remember being quite a scraggly kid with thin long legs and I hardly had any hand to eye co-ordination. I could fall flat on my face simply while walking without there being even a pebble on the road. And then my parents got me this sweet little bike with side wheels. I was a queen on the tiny machine. The secret behind the confidence was that I would never fall and boy I was so afraid of falling that for a very long time I didn’t let them take the side wheels off.

My dad was my hero, always has been and always will be. He somehow managed to convince me that since I’d learnt to ride a bike, side wheels or no side wheels I wouldn’t fall. And so finally after six months I let him take them off. I sat on the bike nervous and excited, shaky and confident. He held the back of my seat and I peddled slowly in a wobbly manner. He held on encouraging me to go faster, to be confident and just go with the flow. I did and oh boy it was great for a few minutes till I realised he’d let go! I turned around, gasped in shock and almost immediately toppled over, scrapped my knee and started crying. I accused him of betraying my trust, ran home, complained to mom and refused to ride the bike with him ever again!

All my friends had bikes at that point and some even rode without the side wheels. I got teased a lot for making up excuses for not riding with them and since it was the most ‘in’ thing to do at that age, I ended up not having friends to spend time with as all of them were busy trying to become cycle gangsters!

So one day in pure frustration I got on my bike and started riding with my friends. I rode looking carefree but inside I was shit scared that I would lose balance and fall down and everybody would laugh...but that didn’t happen. I rode and there were four-five of us racing the winds. I was so high...I was so overjoyed...I was the queen of the world and I could fly on my little bike. I had never felt so free and exhilarated in my life! 

Though I ended up cycling due to peer pressure, I’ll always give this one to my dad who patiently tried to help me overcome my fears. I had the whole world in my hands that day.

Fantasy

A few simple words,

A glimpse of a faded picture

You're a stranger to be forgotten...

a wisp of a memory in this dreamy haze.

Yet I remember ever simple word

I dream a dream that captures your smile

Walking through the foggy mists of neverland

Wrapped within your arms in a cloud...

The bell goes off,

warms ray of the sun stream onto my face

My dream awakens with me

stronger in the harsh light of the day

I keep you with me in every moment,

in the recesses of each mundane thought...

I dream of you appearing out of the blue

So I can tell you I've been waiting all along.

Musing

"Wish a day had 36 hours and the heart fewer dreams and ambitions..."

Benign smile

I can see beyond the cloudy skies

Through the sparkling haze of falling raindrops,

Into the eyes of a thousand travellers

Searching for the meaning of their meandering lives.

They bounce off me

these million auras of hope and love,

mingling with the dampness of human despair and loneliness

hearts aching to touch a divine connection they can't see.

And in that sea of kindred souls

I share the forever dream of undying love,

Waiting for a chance encounter, a meaningful smile, an enchanting touch

Smiling the benign smile of a youth confident in tomorrows.

Backwards

Growing older definitely doesn't make us wiser. I know you've all figured this out and wondering why you should read this post....I get it. But ever wondered why that is?

I think we're not getting wiser because our brains are functioning at greater efficiency in our 20s and thinking makes us stupid. You see, we've all got a hidden Freud within us and we analyse, psychoanalyse, pre-guess, post-guess and dissect everything in our daily lives. We have reasons for why a friend didn't call us, we have reasons for why our colleague was pissed off today, we have reasons for why our parents forgot our birthday and we have reasons for everything that is actually quite innocent.

We've forgotten to forgive and forget. We've simply forgotten to smile and let it go. An apology is never a simple apology anymore...we take our time, we sulk, we emotionally gauge how sincere the apology was and by the time we decide to forgive someone...it's too late. It's too late for there not be any scars coz you see the other person is an adult as well who isn't going to let go easily. Grrrr!

It was so simple when we were kids...so peaceful..so beautiful...we were so wise. It's like we come into the world, grow older and lose our wisdom in our eternal search to find it. As kids, as teens...if someone pushes you down, you either push them down too and laugh about it, or cry and run to momma and forget about it, or complain to your teach and forget about it, or simply laugh it off...it goes away quickly and funnily enough you're back at the same playground the next day playing with the same person...accepting them who they are and everything in the world is perfect! Even as teens...we cry, we judge, we shout...but ultimately we work it out...at least most of the times. Why was it so easy to forgive and forget then? How come we just overlooked not being waved at or invited to a party? I'm not saying that was right...all I'm saying is that that was happier and simpler.

Doesn't that make it wise?

But I can't help...

Wise men say,

Only fools rush in...

But I can't help,

Falling in love with you.

These lines are typically meant to be about love...some great love of your life. Oddly they seem to hold true right now...even now...especially now. I'm free...I don't know how or when it happened but I'm happy I gave myself the time to get to know myself, my own strength, re-discover the beauty of being me and now I feel free. I feel free and hopeful and romantic and feel these lines speak to my soul. 

I can't help falling in love with you...with the thought of you...with the endless possibilities of who you might be. I can't help falling in love with life...with the beauty and positivity of it...with the million chances it gives you...with the way the skies smile upon you.

I love...I love...I LOVE...

:-)